You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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