I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize