So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
