You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
