I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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