the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
