I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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