I wish I could teleport
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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