I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
