so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
