As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
