i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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