its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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