It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
