Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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