she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
