So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
