I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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