she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
