I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Randomize