thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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