Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
