Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
