Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
