I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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