hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
