Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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