Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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