on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
