He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
