So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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