i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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