I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
