Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
