omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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