i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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