Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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