I think I just saw someone hide a body.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize