So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
