I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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