Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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