My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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