He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
