so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
