best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
