I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
