im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
