508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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