I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
