can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
