who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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