I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
