I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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