my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
