She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
