My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
