whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
