I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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