You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
