Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
