haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
