And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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