You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
