I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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